Do Marabou Heels Go With Skunk?

While prancing around the kitchen in my marabou heels, I notice something funny moving around our driveway. About this time, my husband starts yelling, "Get out here...Get out here now." I run out the back door like a scalded dog and what do I see? Pepe Le Pew. Yes, my peeps, we have skunks.
My hubby (the great hunter) decided we should catch the skunk. So off he goes...with plastic container in hand.
As of this time, we are preparing for five skunk funerals.
R.I.P Pepe Le Pew and his fragrant posse.

I Need This Buffalo!

I saw this huge buffalo outside of an antique store in Foley, Alabama. I wanted to buy it but my husband didn't think it was a good idea.
Not a good idea? Doesn't everyone need a huge buffalo?
I had good intentions for my purchase. I wanted to take my buffalo out every weekend and secretly place it in the front yard of family and friends and then view their reaction the next morning. How funny would it be to wake up and see that someone had placed an enormous buffalo in your front yard? It makes me giggle every time I think about it...especially to people who have no sense of humor.
So, watch out everyone... You never know when I may buy a huge bison and place it in your front yard early Sunday morning!

Tiara's...The Southern Woman's Anti-Depressant

Have you ever put on a tiara? You can't help but smile and do that funny little "Miss America screw in the light bulb" wave.
I have never been in a pageant nor have any desire too. Walking in a swim suit for an audience isn't my idea of fun.
However, I occasionally put on a tiara...so do my girls. We play dress up and pretend to be beauty queens. When you put a huge tacky crown on your head...you can't help but stand up straight and smile like a sorority gal during pledge week.
The next time you need a pick me up...put on a tiara and some marabou heels. Wear them around the house while cooking supper. You will feel fabulous in no time. Your husband may think you have lost your mind...especially when you start waving to the neighbors and speaking of world peace...but you will feel great and look marvelous, darling.

Potty Mouth!

You may have noticed that I deleted my next to the last post on "What I Would Do if I Won the Lotto." It seems I have stepped on a few toes because I used the derogatory term for feces. I need to clean up my act...and eliminate the beer bottle from the picture.
I apologize for any discomfort I may have caused. I will try to refrain from using profanity in the future. However, I was just keeping it real...and some people (my husband) think I limit myself and my potential when I do that.
So from here on out, when I need to use the term for feces...it will now look like this....%$#@.
Sincerely,
SFM

Funky Chickens

My friend, Farm Chick, has started raising chickens. The first couple batches of baby chicks haven't adapted too well and she is a bit discouraged. Her husband, we'll just call him...The Rooster, isn't too excited about Farm Chick getting into poultry farming.
Since Farm Chick is my friend and I don't want her to be all down and out over the dead chicks she has lost, I thought I would brighten her day and cause the Rooster to have an aneurysm.
I called up the hatchery and asked if they had any funky chickens. The funkier the better. I told the woman I only wanted hens 'cause we had enough roosters. She didn't think I was too funny. How can you not have a sense of humor working at a chicken hatchery? Anyway, I order 30 different funky chicks....to be delivered to the post office with Rooster's name on the package.
He is gonna stroke and Farm Chick and I will giggle 'til we pee our pants.
So, here's to you Farm Chick...may your poultry farm prosper!

Marriage is a Compromise

Life is good here in the Redneck Riviera. I love Alabama.
My husband agreed to take me to these wonderful antique shops I've been dying to visit since we started coming here....and he thought while we were out, we could check out the Mossy Oak outlet store.
Since I'm a good wife, I agreed. Although, I didn't enjoy it.
How much camouflage do men need? I can understand having a couple of outfits for hunting....but geez! They even have camo lingerie. What the? If you have to put camo on your woman to sleep with her...Wouldn't a bread sack be cheaper?
Anyhoo, that's just my opinion...and it really don't mean crap.

Hugs

I have come all the way to Alabama to have a vacation sans the children...and guess what my husband is watching on TV? Cartoons. I am not lying.
He was flipping through the channels and stopped on the Disney channel and informed me he liked Manny. What the? I am not watching cartoons this week. End of discussion.
Called and checked on Ella. She and Nana were laying in bed talking and watching TV. Ella is at her sweetest first thing in the morning when she comes and gets in bed with you. She gives the best hugs and kisses. I'm missing them.....but not enough to come home yet.
Gotta go to the beach! I have lots of books to read and daiquiri's to drink.