Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Alabama Chain Gang
Well, I'm about to say something I thought I'd never, ever, ever say,"I may soon be a member of the Alabama Chain Gang."
Remember back in May when Rico and I went to the condo in Gulf Shores? Well, on the way back, we were laughing and having a grand old time when I heard sirens and saw flashing lights behind me. After saying a few choice words, I pulled over to meet the biggest state trooper ever. Lord, that man was BIG.
I admitted that I was speeding..."Yes, sir" and all that jazz. He told me to wait 10 days and get online to pay my fine and that I had until August 10 to pay it. "O.K. Thank you, Sir! Have a Nice Day!"
Well, I come home. I didn't think too much about it. Just reminded myself every now and then that I need to get it done. So today I got online to pay. Well, the system wouldn't let me do it. I called the number on the ticket, and they tell me that I can't pay over the phone. What the? They give me another phone number to call for the local courthouse.
Well, guess what. I have to come to court. You know why? Because I was driving 20 MPH over the speed limit. Now, you know that big, bad trooper knew that when he gave me that ticket. Why didn't he just tell me? It would have really been helpful so I wouldn't schedule a HYSTERECTOMY three days before the court date. I told the judge's office that I was having surgery on the 7th of August and would it be possible to make other arrangements?
They were like...NO...probably not. If you don't show up for court, they will order a warrant for your arrest.
Can you believe this? I could be on the CHAIN GANG!!!!
I don't do well in the heat unless I have a fruity cocktail and sunscreen. Wouldn't it be a violation of my civil rights if I had to work by the roadside on a chain gang... without alcohol, sunburned, and WITH my uterus!!!!!
I need a lawyer!!!!! ATTICA!!! ATTICA!!!