Monday, June 23, 2008

Things That Get on My Nerves #1-10

Number #1
Every morning as I go to work, I get behind a slowpoke. EVERY SINGLE MORNING. I think they sit and wait for me, using CB radios to signal each other to pull out in front of me.
I swear, I can be 100 feet away, when a rusty old Impala with no muffler will pull out. They won't even look..they just pull out at neck breaking speed and then cruise to town at 30 miles per hour.
I don't know where all these people go...cause it certainly isn't to work...they'd never get there. Do they just congregate in town all day and wait for me to come back home so they can slow me down again?

Number #2
The toilet seat being up in the middle of the night. Ladies, we've all been there. Stumbling in the dark, keeping our eyes closed so we don't fully wake up. Going to the bathroom to pee 'cause we just can't hold it any longer even though we don't want to leave our warm spot in the bed. You finally get there without stumping your toe and you sit down and fall your ass in the toilet. Makes me mad just thinking about it.

Number #3
Next is getting the wrong order at the fast food drive thru. But the kicker to the situation is you don't realize it until you are already back at work. This happens to me on a fairly regular basis. I know the fast food industry employees work hard and I don't want to take their place. I work hard too. I'm a nurse and I always make sure I have the right medicine in the syringe before I give you a shot...I would appreciate it if you would make sure my burger is correct before you put it in the bag. Thanks.

Number #4
People who crowd me while in line anywhere. You know how it is. You go someplace and have to stand in line forever...and there's always one or two people that get right up behind you breathing on your neck like that extra two inches they're gaining in line is gonna make that much of a difference. If you're that desperate to get ahead of the line, cut in front of me...but just know I'm gonna breathe down your neck and get all in your personal space so you know how it feels.

Number #5
Leaving the water in the bathtub. We have one those fancy smancy garden jacuzzi tubs. The kids use it for their bathtub..but every now and then I like to clean out all the barbie dolls and toys and relax. The tub takes forever to fill up and forever to drain. The drain is probably filled with a big wad of barbie hair and paper labels from shampoo bottles. So on the occasion when I'd like a little soak, it never fails the tub is full of COLD dirty water. I then have to wait 20 minutes for it to drain and the next 10 for the this time I am too sleepy listening to the water to take a bath.

Number #6
Dirty cold sink water. You know when you soak that casserole dish that's burnt with all kinds of funk? You then place it in your sink to soak 'cause you really don't want to fool with it today...maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and you have to put your hand in that cold, nasty water to pull the drain. YUCK! YUCK! YUCK!

Number #7
Eyebrow waxing by my sadistic hairdresser. I love her to death. She's done my hair for a hundred years. We've shared everything but men and I'd give her a kidney if she needed it. It's just that she enjoys inflicting pain and calling me names when she waxes my eyebrows. It hurts. I would rather have natural childbirth. The only thing worse would be getting my woo-hoo waxed and that ain't gonna happen.

Number #8
My bread getting smashed at the grocery. Why do they do this? Is it a sick game of how many loaves they can ruin in a day? Or do they know that it makes me mad enough to chew nails? Bread is your friend...don't smash it.

Number #9
Customer Service lines with no humans. No, I don't want to push #5 to hear my options in Spanish. I'm American, we speak English. And don't outsource to India, no one understands them. I have nothing against the Indians. I'm glad they're making a decent living...but speak clearly. And don't tell me not to get mad when you don't understand me. All I want is one polite English speaking person to answer the phone and answer my question. Is that too hard?

Number #10
Automated telemarketing calls. I hate when the phone rings at dinner time and you answer it and there is a message that says, "Please hold for an operator." I don't want to hold on...I didn't call you and I don't want to hear your crap about me winning a free Las Vegas vacation for the low price of $99. Nothing but the clap cost $99 in Vegas. Next time you call me, I'm just gonna start screaming and yelling in Indian.


Big Pissy said...


Your number 4 is my number ONE pet peeve!

I want to smack the living daylights out of those people who get all up in my personal space while in line at Wal-mart.


Tipper said...

At the moment-number 9 is my nerve ticker! Since I just experienced it again yesterday. You're right English would be nice!!!

azn8tive said...

You hit the nail on the head with #9. As my Hubby has said many times, send me to someone who speaks ENGLISH as a 1st language. The first time he did that I fell out on the floor laughing.